Sometimes I wish I had a job where people knew what I did

Now I like biology, don't get me wrong, after all I did get a degree in it, but sometimes I wish I had a job where people know what in the hell I did. Accountant, salesperson, engineer, whatever. I think the single most asked question I get is...so what do you actually do? And here's the answer: I work in quality control for bacteriology at bioresources company. What does that mean? Am I curing cancer...no. Am I making drugs...no. Here it is in hopefully understandable lingo.

My company is a production based company, we make products for other companies/people to buy and use. The department I work in makes bacteria. What the hell do people need bacteria? We sell to research institutions (so people can develop vaccines and what not), clinical (hospitals and what not), pharmaceutical, universities, food industry, etc. The production department grows the bacteria and then vials it, then it is freeze dried. Before we can send this product to the customer, it has to come through me. I check to make sure everything is A-OK. I make sure that if we are supposed to be sending them E. coli, they are getting E. coli and not Salmonella. I make sure the culture is viable, that when the customer receives it, it will grow. This requires a bunch of testing via different methods, biochemical testing, genomic testing (through DNA and RNA), etc. Then if I say it's ok, I pass it and it gets sent out to whoever wants it.

What kind of things do I work with? E. coli, Salmonella, MRSA, Streptoccous (cause strep throat), Neisseria gonorrhoeae (cause gonorrhea), Bordetella (whooping cough), Mycobacerium (tuberculosis), Helicobacter (cause ulcers), Vibrio (cholera), as well as bacteria that cause meningitis, botulism, tetanus, lyme disease, etc. We also have (but I don't work with) anthrax and plaque. As well as working with a whole range of non-disease causing bacteria.

It's sometimes hard for people to understand what I actually do and why I do it. That can get soooo frustrating. Why do I bring this up? I bring it up because me brother Craig works as a store manager of a high-end shoe store. My mom and dad went into his store a couple weeks ago to visit and buy some shoes. My dad already always talked about how he was at the number one store, then they moved him to a store in trouble and now he's turned it around and made it the number one store and this is how much he sells, and profits and numbers and blah, blah, blah. Now that they've been to his store, my dad raves to people about how he was so great with customers and diffused a tense situation and even go this guy to buy another pair of shoes. It's all about numbers. This makes sense though, people know about this. Everyone's been to a store, everyone buys things. It's easy to explain about numbers and how the profit it going and seeing how the employee's work with customers. Therefore my dad is always gloating about how great Craig is doing in his job. I swear if I hear about how great he is one more time, I am going to shoot myself. I never hear about my dad gloating about how I finished 10 work orders this week or got that difficult Clostridium to finally grow. That's why I say sometimes I wish I had a job where people knew what I did and understood it and could appreciate how much hard work I am putting in and what difference I am making. Because when people don't know what you do or why then it's tough to explain and get that recognition and appreciation that I'm sure all of us crave at some point in time.

I hate when people ask you how you're doing

This is my beloved cat, Tomahawk. On Thursday June 12, 2008 we had to have him put to sleep. It was one of the saddest days of my life. He was the love of my life, my lovey, my cuddle buddy. It was something that had to be done though. He was 16 years old and age was finally getting to him. In the past 6 weeks, he'd stopped eating, except for a few bites here and there. Sometimes I could get him to eat tuna fish out of my hand, but it was never very much. Then he started walking awkwardly, like he was drunk. Very unsteady, he wasn't able to jump up to the couch or beds anymore. He just laid around all lethargic and with no spark in his eyes. Then in the past few days, he stopped drinking water as well, which he had been doing up until then. We decided on Wednesday that is was time, we couldn't bare to see him like this anymore. And on Wednesday night and Thursday morning, he was so weak, he couldn't even walk anymore. He just looked so sad and uncomfortable. He just wasn't the cat we had loved for 16 years. He had wasted away to practically nothing, you could feel every bone in his vertebrae. So we took him in on Thursday morning to bring an end to his misery. Of course I couldn't go back to work that afternoon. I am devastated. I feel empty and so alone. I just didn't want to talk to anyone.
It made me think. I hate how when you see people in passing they say hi, then out of courtesy , people ask you how you are. What in the hell are you supposed to say to that? Most people just say fine or good. Or perhaps state some common feeling, oh, I'm tired or So glad it's Friday. What are you supposed to say when you feel like your heart has broken in two? You can't exactly say, oh, I'm fine,because your NOT. You can't exactly respond with, well actually I'm heartbroken, I feel like I just want to cry for 5 hours. How do you think the person would respond? That is obviously not the response they are looking for. And if you do tell them you feel crappy, then they may want to know about it and maybe you don't feel like talking about why you feel like crap, because it just hurts too much. In all honesty you know the person doesn't really care anyway how you are, it's just something we say to each other to pretend like we care, I bet half the time the person asking doesn't even pay attention to the response. So why do we say it, why do we ask how another person is? The majority of people don't genuinely care. There, I hate this question. I wish we as a society could find something else to say to each other then a half-hearted "Hi, how are you?"
On a side note, today was my 3rd anniversary at ATCC, fell on Friday the 13th. Anyone feel like this is an omen. Everyone was shocked I had been there 3 years (4 if you count when I started as an intern, but of course I didn't work for the full 12 months then), because 3 years is forever to stay at ATCC in Bacteriology. I am the second most senior person in my area. I have been there longer than all the people in BioProduction (I'm in QC) and longer than the majority of the people in R&D. I am in charge of my area, it's kind of crazy (although I'm not getting paid to be in charge but doing the work, boo). When I started I said I wanted to work here 2-3 years, get me experience, then move on. Well we're at years, but I am working on a plan to get out of here. As I may have mentioned earlier, I would like to move abroad for a year or so. That's always been a life goal, to life abroad, so now that I made my goal, it's the time to do it. Anyway, happy anniversary to me!



RIP Tomahawk Ferguson June 1992 - June 12, 2008 I loved you more then I could ever express and you will always hold a place in my heart.

Johnny Depp...still hot

Here comes a really random statement. I'm watching the MTV Movie Awards and they are presenting for best comedic performance and the winner is announced as Johnny Depp. Well, one would think, yeah, he's probably not there, got better things to do, being a "serious" actor and all. Well you wold be wrong, he strolls out on stage to accept the award. Gets a huuuuuge standing ovation, apparently everyone there loooves him. My first thought is, damn, does he look goooood. His hair was a little uh, but he was actually clean shaven and I swear looked like did back in the 21 Jump Street days. He looks so much better clean then when he's sporting the beatnik off the street look. It definitely renewed an appreciation for him. So anyway, just wanted to say, Johnny Depp...still hot after all these years.

Are there any real women like the ones on "Sex and the City"?

So I recently signed up for Netflix and some of the first DVD’s I got sent to me were episodes of “Sex and the City.” With the movie up I had to try and get into the mood, right. Besides, I’ve only ever seen this show on TBS and The CW, so they’re all altered and dubbed and not the original way they were meant to be seen. So I figured, why not, I’ll watch some of the original versions.
Now I’m a fan of the show, but as I’m watching it the other night, I began to think about a question that had been posed to me earlier that day. Do people in real life behave like the women on this show? Now I know what you’re saying, it’s a SHOW. You can’t compare it to real life. I’m not talking about the actual situations and plots, but rather the candid nature of their language and subject matter. Perhaps my friends and I are prude, but I have never seen women in real life talk about sex in such explicit detail and have no fear about discussing their love lives. Don’t get me wrong, we talk about men, but not have I been exposed to such candid language. To those women, no subject is off limits. Even with my closest friends, I still feel like there are certain things that I wouldn’t feel comfortable discussing. Perhaps that’s why this show was so popular, women get exposed to conversations they wouldn’t normally have or hear. It’s like Cosmo on tv.
Anyway, that was my random thought of the day. Do you know or are you one of these women who talk so candidly about sex?

3 months huh...it's because I have no life

So it’s been over 3 months since I blogged on this darn thing. It’s really because I don’t really have much to say or much going on, but I am going to try to be more vigilant, because I’m sure there are sooo many of you who actually care. I guess it’s more for my piece of mind, to vent things, ya know?

Well first of all, I took my trip to Munich in March and had a fabulous time!!!! I have some great pics that I want to upload, but can’t do it right now seeing as though I am at work. See how productive I am being? But I will post soon and talk about the trip.

What I am thinking about right now is how every time I turn around, someone else is engaged, or getting married, or having kids, or buying a house. And I am doing none of those things. I’m living at home with my parents (still…but it’s sooo close to work and so much more affordable), no man, no kids (thank goodness, I’m not even close to that point in my life yet, too much I want to do), and not buying a place because I want to get the hell out of here. I just sometimes feel like I’m still a kid, instead of getting up and going to school, I am getting up and going to work. Other than that, it’s not much different. I feel like all these people my age and younger than me are starting their “adult” lives, moving on, and here I am, wondering when the hell my life is going to start. I mean, I am 25, I have a good job at a very reputable company and I just feel like I am standing still, sinking into this place of being stuck somewhere I am never going to get out of. I don't want to live in Northern Virginia for my whole life. I don't mind it...sometimes, but I just want to get out and experience other things before I decide on somewhere to settle. I have some life to-do's and it's about damn time I start trying to accomplish some of them.

That being said I have some exciting things coming up in my life that I am planning on doing. First, I'm going to go visit my friend Eileen, who is in the Peace Corps and in Ukraine right now. So I figure since I am over there, why not hit up a couple places in Eastern Europe while I am there. My plan right now is to spend a month from mid-Sept. to Mid-Oct. playing tourist in Europe. I would like to fly into Istanbul, spend a couple days there, then ferry across the Black Sea to Odessa, Ukraine. Spend a week at Eileen's village a couple hours outside of Odessa. Travel to Kiev and Lvov, Ukraine, cross the border into Krakow, Poland, down to the Tatras in Slovakia, then to Vienna, Austria with a stop in Bratislava, Slovakia, then end up in Budapest, Hungary. Well at least that's the plan right now. If any one's been there and has any insight on what I must see or do, please let me know.

Now you must be asking, how in the hell can you take a month off from work to explore Eastern Europe. Well then answer is that I don't plan on being employed at that time. What?! You say. Why not. We'll you know how I mentioned that I had a bunch of things I wanted to do in my life? Living abroad for a year is one of them. I figure this is the perfect time for it. All those things I was bitching about earlier, not being in a relationship, not having a place of my own, etc,the lack of those things makes it a perfect time to take a leap and try something new. In 3 weeks I celebrate my 3 year anniversary at my company. When I first started I said I wanted to make it 2-3 years then move on, get the experience under my belt and then peace out. Well I'm at that point and it may be now or never at this point. Plus I have quite a bit of responsibility in my lab, I am the team leader. Which means, everybody is constantly asking me questions, I get yelled at when things don't work, I have to take care of shit responsibilities, because I am "in charge." Being in charge is so not what it's cracked up to be. A lot of times it just means being the scapegoat and the bitch at the same time. This promotion was supposed to come with a raise which I got my paperwork in for last JUNE and still have not received yet. So I am doing a harder job that I am not getting paid for , awesome right? Anyway, back to the whole moving abroad thing. So yeah, come end of October/beginning of November I would like to move abroad. My thought right now is Buenos Aires, Argentina. I know some Spanish and can brush up on it and try to become fluent perhaps (being fluent in another language = another thing on the life to-do list). It's a cosmopolitan city, the cost of living is still affordable.

So that is what I am thinking right now. All I do know though is, I need to get out of Manassas, out of Northern Virginia, see more of the world and get out of this rut I seem to be stuck in.

Pictures of my laboratory

Here are some pics of the lab I work in.

My bench space. Notice how clean and lovely it is.

My desk space, hey, this is clean for me. Usually it's a lot worse! It means I'm important!

The hood, or it's proper name, the Biological Safety Cabinet that I play with my bacteria in.

The lab from my desk, although I cut out half the lab on the left side of the picture.

Hatred for Kanye West and...Wine Tasting?

So can I for one second express how much I loathe Kanye West? He is a whinny, immature punk ass little bitch. Always whining about how whinnung about what he should have won, when he should have performed and how much better he is then everyone. He just has this attitude that he should be entitled and receive more than everyone else and that he is God's gift the planet, which pf course, he is not. Now, I feel bad about his mom and all, I mean, noone wants to see another person lose someone they love. I mean, he wins the freaking grammy and babbles about stupid shit, then yell at the people for starting to play the music BEFORE he even even gets to talk about his mom. There is no reason you should get way more time than anyone else. If you want to dedicate it to your mom and give her an emotional shoutout, do it right when you get up there, don't babble about dumb shit then after they've already started to play the music, start to talk about your mom. It's like he waited till the end to talk about her because he knew they wouldn't cut him off when talking about his dead mother and that way he'd get to talk longer. He is just such a prick and so full of himself I can't even stand it.

Anyway, so that rant is over. Well, what have I been up to? Spending time with the fam, doing things. Went skiing with my dad, went to the Air and Space Museum out by Dulles Airport (Udvar-Hazy) with my bro, neice, nephew, mum and dad, and went wine tasting with the rents.

My niece, Caitlin. She's looking at me like, crazy lady, what are you doing?

Dad, Liam (my nephew) and Cailtin at the Udvar-Hazy Center.

Prince Michel Winery


Horton Winery - they had 40 different wines to try! I only tried about 10 though. The wine glass that I took home from here had a cat on it and said "Cats understand. They don't care, but they understand." I thought that was so great and true!

I love this building!

Me outside Horton Winery

The 'rents at Barboursville Winery














Me at Barboursville

Me at the Barboursville Ruins









We went to another winery next, Burnley, but the outside wasn't much to write home about so no pictures there. I did buy a yummy peach wine from there though!

Our fifth and final stop, Keswick.

It was a great day for wine-tasting, weather wise and we had a fantastic time!